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Please…just nine more minutes » Your World My Eyes

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Feb 29 2012

Iric

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Please…just nine more minutes

Can you imagine a world without the snooze button?


I have to purchase a new alarm clock, and I’m not very excited about having to do so.  I have to buy something whose sole purpose is to wake me up from sleepsomething I can never get enough of most days.  To top it off, I’m usually pulled back from Never Never Land by an unpleasant beeping sound.

 

Why can’t I find an alarm clock that will rescue me from nightmares?  Does my alarm clock ever rescue me when I’m dreaming about being attacked by a squirrel?  No.


Does the alarm clock ever show me compassion when I’m having my swimsuit photographer fantasy dream?  Nope!  Every time I’m about to go in for a close-up shot, the screeching sound of the alarm clock goes off, and drags me back to reality.  No matter how many times I hit the snooze button, and try to continue my fantasy dream where I left-off, it never works.  The closest I have ever been to returning to my photographer fantasy dream is taking pictures of the Statue of Liberty.  Somehow the models in my dreams are wearing fewer clothes, are not green, are smiling, and they are definitely not that tall.


I wonder how many people would over-sleep if their alarm clock didn’t have a snooze button.  I think there would be more grumpy people in this world if they couldn’t hit the snooze button, and get that all-important extra nine minutes of sleep.


Question: Do you know a multi-snooze offender?  These are the people who press the snooze button three times or more before finally getting their sleepy butt out of bed.


People who tend to over-sleep come up with all kinds of creative ways to try to wake up the first time their alarm clock goes off.  I have come across several types of alarm clocks that may help the over-sleeper or multi-snooze offender.  Granted, these clocks are for when normal alarm clocks aren’t doing the trick, and drastic wake-up measures are required.


Flying Alarm Clock – A helicopter flies off the alarm clock base, and you have to retrieve it and return it to its base, before the shrieking alarm clock will turn off.


Warning: Should not be used when sleeping with windows open.  You wouldn’t want the helicopter flying out the window, causing you to have to go outside before you can turn off your alarm clock.  If so, please wear cute or sexy pajamas when going outside to retrieve the helicopter. Look goodpeople are watching


Wake-Up Light Alarm Clock – This alarm stimulates sunrise to bring you a more comfortable way of waking up to the morning.  Waking up to the sun in your face is supposed to be a peaceful way of getting you out of bed.  Unless it can bring me the beach, an umbrella drink, and sand in my shoes and shortsI’ll pass on this one.


Warning: If you don’t get out of bed shortly after this light alarm clock goes off; it switches to sun mode, and you’ll suffer severe sun burns.  You’ll wish you were at the beach if you don’t get up quickly from this type of alarm clock.  If you still over-sleep while using this alarm clock, please remember to wear sunscreen to bed.


Super Sonic Ninja Alarm Clock – These alarm clocks produce a sound that is louder than a jackhammer to wake up your sleepy butt. It even comes with a bed shaker attachment if, for some reason, the excruciating high level of sound doesn’t wake you from your coma-like sleep.


Warning: The sound from this alarm clock is so loud, it has been known to strip wallpaper off the walls.  It is best suited for bedrooms with painted walls and no canopy beds.  Not responsible for falling pictures or ceiling fans that are not properly secured to the ceiling.


Dumbbell Weight Alarms –You have to do a set amount of reps before the alarm clock will turn off. It is available in different weight sizes.


Warning: Do not use this alarm clock if people around you are practical-jokers.  Practical jokers may set the number of reps to 100.  If your goal is to look like the Incredible Hulk, then this alarm clock is for you.  Not only will it prevent you from hitting the snooze button; it will also bulk up your arms.  If your goal is to truly look like the Incredible Hulk, I suggest dating the Statue of Liberty.


Police Siren Alarm Clock – What kind of dreams are you having that only an alarm clock that sounds like a police siren will wake you up?  This alarm clock even comes complete with flashing police lights.


Warning: Please make sure there are no items lying on the bedroom floor and along exit pathways.  Owners of this alarm clock have been known to wake up, immediately exit the bedroom, and run out the front door.  This alarm clock is also not recommended for those individuals who sleep in the nude.  Nothing frightens people more than seeing a streaking neighbor first thing in the morning.


Run-Away Clock – It has wheels and will jump off of the nightstand and roll on the ground.  You have to get out of bed, and hunt it down to turn off the alarm.


Warning: Please do not use this alarm clock near stairs or around practical jokers.  Practical jokers can pay $40 for the remote control option without even your knowledge.  The practical joker will use their remote control to steer your alarm clock, and gleefully watch as you chase it down to turn it off.

 

Tomorrow morning, when your dreaded alarm clock goes off, and you reluctantly begin the wake-up process, please keep in mind that it could be worse.

How worse?

You could find yourself holding a dumbbell, running out the front door naked and sunburnt because you think the police are chasing you, and getting hit in the head by a helicopter.

 

Think twicebefore pushing the snooze button.

© 2012, Iric. All rights reserved.

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2 comments

  1. Chole

    Omg, my husband would love it if I did not hit the snooze button. I have to set seven alarms which are in 15 min increments before I can finally get out of bed. These alarms never bother my sweet dreams. It is my husband who says, “Honey please get up and stop hitting the snooze.”

    Before I go to bed, I do the same nightly ritual by setting all seven alarms again. Every once in awhile, my husband will ask, “how many alarms did you set this time?” Sometimes I fib and say ‘only one’ … ;)

    1. Elizabeth

      Does a crying baby count as an alarm clock?Just stopping in and looking around from Follow Friday! And just became your newest follower! Yea! Hope you stop by and return the favor! My blog http://www.remodelaholic.com is all about interior design and remodeling there are some great tutorials so you can get the look you want on a budget! We also have a party every Friday to show off your stuff!!

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