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Aug 01 2012

Iric

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Writing For a Gold Medal

While listening to Olympic news coverage, I heard a story of an Olympic athlete who was 8 months pregnant and competing for her country in the London games.

How can an activity be considered an Olympic sport if someone can be 8 months pregnant and still be able to compete? A Malaysian woman is 8 months pregnant and competing in the 10 meter air rifle competition at the London Games. I believe it’s time to reconsider air rifle as a sport, yet alone an Olympic sport. I have always pictured Olympian athletes being at the top of their sport, in the best physical shape possible, and pretty much looking like a poster board for an Under Armour advertisement.


I may have to reconsider my opinion of Olympians and what constitutes being classified as an Olympic sport. If someone can be 8 months pregnant and compete in the Olympics then I believe that more events or activities should be considered an Olympic sport. Listed below are activities that I believe should be considered as an Olympic sport.

 

Bowling: Why isn’t bowling an Olympic sport? I’ve seen men and women bowl that look like they are 8 months pregnant. For the record, I am not a good bowler. I believe the louder you can make the pins sound as they crash into the bowling alley and how good you look while kicking out your leg constitutes good bowling. Sometimes, if you throw…I mean roll the bowling ball fast enough, knocking down one pin can sound like a bowling success.

 

Disco Darts: Combine the consumption of alcohol, music, and some fancy dance moves, and this activity is screaming to be an Olympic sport. Bystanders should be advised to not stand close to the dart throwers. One bad dance spin can send a speeding dart your way and unless you have target on your hiney…I would watch from a distance.

 

Hot Dog Eating or Competitive Eating: Eating 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes truly shows off one’s athletic ability. You have to be able to grab those hot dogs and cram them into your mouth in record time. You need strength, speed, agility, endurance, and an elastic waist band. Think of all the training that goes into pigging out on 19,720 calories of hot dogs in 10 minutes.

Recently I was at a Chinese buffet restaurant, and I’m positive there were some people there who were training for a competitive eating contest. To think I could have crossed paths with a potential future gold medalist in front of the pan filled with General Tso’s chicken! 

 

Blowing Bubbles: Who doesn’t like to blow bubbles? The chance to blow bubbles and win an Olympic medal is just pure magic. That’s all I have to say about that.


 

Tug of War: It used to be an Olympic sport. Maybe it should be reconsidered as a sport again. Wait! Somehow picturing an 8 on 8 tug of war competition of women who are all 8 months pregnant doesn’t paint a pleasant Olympic portrait. I’m not even sure what companies would sponsor such an event. I can only imagine the commercials. All I can say is, there better be lots of doctors close by for that competition. I’m positive tug of war would induce labor. The Olympic committee could combine the tug of war competition with a Doula (doo la) competition and make it a team sport. The woman that goes into labor from competing in tug of war and delivers her baby naturally the fastest with the help of her Doula earns a gold medal. Btw…a Doula is someone who helps to coach a pregnant mother when she is delivering her baby. A Doula helps the mother feel safe and comfortable. Think about the number of referrerals a Doula would get if they were a tug of war baby deliverer gold medalist.


 

Other odd events or activities that used to be an Olympic sport…

 

Live Pigeon Shooting: One word that immediately comes to mind when I think of this past event…savage. They would release hundreds of pigeons into the sky and let the athlete fire away. The object was to shoot as many birds as possible. Once the athlete missed two shots in a row, they were out. Fortunately this event only lasted for one Olympic Games . The winner of that one time event shot down 21 birds. Savage. Can you imagine all the commotion PETA would make if pigeon shooting was a current Olympic event? (No picture is necessary to illustrate this event. Even I cannot find humor in this non-athletic event.)

 

Equestrian Long Jump & High Jump: Those poor horses.

 

Rope Climbing: An individual attempts to climb a suspended vertical rope using only their hands.  If the athlete fails to make it to the top in record time, they can always just swing.  Swinging and bubbles are somehow related…I’m sure of it.


 

Skijoring: Picture an individual wearing skis and being dragged by a horse. Add a course, a timer, and you had one horrible Olympic sport. I don’t think a person competing in this even had to be a great athlete…they had to be more of an idiot.


 

Solo Synchronized Swimming: Are you serious? One swimmer floating in a pool to music. They might as well make solo synchronized typing or solo synchronized running on a treadmill an Olympic sport. The individual would be judged by how well they dance and type or how well they run and dance on a treadmill to music.

A future solo synchronized swimmer.

 

I’m glad there are many Olympic sports that warrant an individual being in the best physical shape possible and competing at the highest level to achieve Olympic greatness.



Don’t get me wrong…I believe it takes great strength, endurance, patience, and a high pain tolerance to deliver a baby too.

 

For that, I’m thankful that I’m a man.

© 2012, Iric. All rights reserved.

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1 comment

  1. Iric
    Iric

    You’re welcome Rita. Thanks for taking time to read my words again.

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