Feb 16 2012


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Getting Pickled Is Not Fun

Watching the new Wendy’s commercial with the guy walking around with his “Where’s The Beef?” t-shirt caused me to have a Wendy’s medical exam drive-thru flashback.


Date: Several years ago

Time: Weekday Lunch

Incident Location: Wendy’s Drive-thru


I’m all about eating healthy, but this particular afternoon, I felt like living-on-the-edge, and decided to take the fast food plunge.  I felt like eating a hamburger.  Yes, I know, I’m a wild man.

I ordered the #1 combo which is a ¼ lb. Single.  Let it be known that I did not Biggie Size my meal.  I’m wild but not crazy.

I pay for my order, and I drive back to my office to eat my lunch.  I sit down at my desk,  I un-wrap my hamburger, and I take a bite.  I immediately notice the distinct taste of pickles.  I take another bite…more pickle taste.  I then decide to investigate this pickle phenomenon.  I lift up the hamburger bun and notice that my hamburger contains around 40 pickles on it.

What I don’t see on my hamburger is beef.  There is no beef in my burger.  I have somehow been given two buns with no beef and 40 pickles…not counting the pickles I already ate from my first two bites.

I sat at my desk contemplating my next move.  I instantly thought of Joe Pesci’s character, Leo Getz, in the Lethal Weapon movies.  His character goes on a tirade about how people are treated “not nice” at the drive-thru.  His character actually uses foul language to describe this “not nice” drive-thru treatment.  His foul language when translated means:  Drive-thru customers often experience discomfort that typically would be associated with getting a medical examination in a “not nice” place on his/her body.

Yes, I got medically examined and pickled by the Wendy’s drive-thru.  At first, I thought I should just take my pickling like a man and laugh it off.  Then all of a sudden, I knew I had to go back to Wendy’s out of principle.  I had to go back there and stand up for everyone who is treated “not nice” at the drive-thru.

If I didn’t complain and speak out about my pickle dilemma, then some other poor fool could end up getting pickled too.  It’s hard to live with yourself when you know that someone may get pickled and you could have done something to prevent it.


(At Wendy’s)

I walk in.  The restaurant is busy.  The line to the counter was six people deep.  The one advantage about getting your order messed up at a fast food restaurant is you feel you have the right to cut in front of everyone in line.  I go straight to the counter.  I’m holding my receipt in my left hand and the imposter of a hamburger in my right hand.  I lay the meat-less wonder on the counter and start to unwrap it.

Cashier: “May I help you sir?”


Me: “I sure hope so.  If not, I’ll need to speak to a manager.”  I point to the hamburger.  “You see this?”  I point to a picture with a ¼ lb. Single in it.  “This… does not look…like that!”


Cashier: “It does to me.  Except it has some bites out of it.”


At this point, the customers behind me were jockeying to get a better look at this fast food spectacle.


Me: I remove the bun.  “Now look at it.”


Cashier: “You must like pickles.”


I shake my head in disbelief at his remark.


Me: “I don’t like pickles that much.”


Manager walks up to the counter.


Manager: “What’s the problem sir?”


I’m about to speak to the manager when the cashier says, “He got extra pickles on his burger and he’s mad.”


Me: “Extra pickles?!  There are 40 pickles on here.  You know what’s NOT on here?  Beef!  There is no beef on my burger.”


Customer next to me, laughs, and blurts out, “Where’s the beef?  That is hilarious.  You have no beef.”  He can’t stop laughing.


Manager: “Are you sure you didn’t order it like this?”


I was stunned by his idiotic question.  He might as well have slapped me in the face.  That’s how stunned I was from his ridiculous question.


Me: “Did I order it like this?  Are you kidding me?  I didn’t say I would like your #1 combo.  Please go heavy on the pickles…like 40 pickles heavy and oh yeah…hold the beef.”


Everyone in line starts laughing.


The manager replaces my burger and tells me that tomorrow’s lunch is on Wendy’s.  He looks around and yells, “Who’s working lunch tomorrow?”


A young employee from the back comes to the counter and replies, “I am.  Why?”


The manager points at me, turns to his young employee, and says, “When the ‘Where’s The Beef?’ man comes in tomorrow.  His lunch is free.”


There is more laughter from everyone around me.


I actually went back the next day, again, out of principle.  I walked up to the counter, and I noticed the cashier and the young employee from the day before.


The cashier smiles at me and says, “Hey!  It’s ‘extra pickle’ man.”


The young employee says, “No… he’s the ‘Where’s The Beef?’ man.”


Always check your order before leaving the drive-thru or else you could end up feeling like you just had a medical exam.  Worse yet…you could end up with two new nicknames.

© 2012, Iric. All rights reserved.

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  1. Julian

    I think it was hilarious!:D That’s my kind of sandwich!
    Woo Hoo! I got to leave the first comment!

  2. Chole

    This story made me laugh!

    It reminds me of my special blizzard order when I visit a Dairy Queen. Of course my blizzard of choice is not on the menu. I always get a sprinkle blizzard. Yes, only sprinkles and ice cream but I tell them to blizz it up. I get it this way because I love sprinkles. It always catches them off guard and they always get the order wrong.

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